What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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Fruitcake

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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women's rights

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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