A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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drugs.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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