Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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Justin Bieber

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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There is a car full of black people.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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