Y2K

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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The man from Poland was so dumb he was eligible to live in a supervised group home.

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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