Where else? The junk yard

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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the your face joke

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Black Poeple

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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Women's sports.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

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Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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