So a baby seal walks into a club

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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If TACOS are Mexican PASTA is Italian HAMBURGER is American Then what is pizza???..... Dough, Cheese and Sauce Just Kidding, that was bad..... Turtles..... :D

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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Justin Bieber

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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