If life throws you lemons Catch them

go go gadget

Mmmm, donuts

A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

Why Because

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

Herman Cain

Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't my car got to him first.

Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...