Santa Clogged my toliet

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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My sister has to take a dump

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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