Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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fart

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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