How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

why did the mexican slave have cuts and bruises all over her. She fell off her skateboard... Another joke by rangler. thumbs up for more.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

thumb_up thumb_down +107

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

I have read and agree to terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

whats round and like a ball a ball

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops