roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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Come in

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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