Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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Women's Rights

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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Jasper sucks.

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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This post contains NOTHING.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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