What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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roses are red violets are red everything's red i'm colour blind

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What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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a boy comes to a girl and ask : do you like vaginas ? and she says course not your dumb ass and he says then give her to me *troll face*

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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Hi poop!

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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A van drives into a car.

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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69

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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Where else? The junk yard

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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