A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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Women rights..

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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Herman Cain

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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25

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your life

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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