Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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What does a man like. food.

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25

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What do u call old black people in a shed? antique farm equiptment

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

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potato

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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i heart wiener

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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Dan O'Driscoll

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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