Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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this website...

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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Mmmm, donuts

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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