Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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Turtles

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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