Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

did you ever see a butter fly?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

john liked the paper........ so he took it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i feel bad for black people (even though u can't consider them people)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Nobody's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

thumb_up thumb_down +9

steves legs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar, he then falls unconscious and driven safely to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The jets are a good team..

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops