what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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So dont touch it

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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ur mother

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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drugs.

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A black man killed someone

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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