What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

What has human male genitalia? A human male

penis

Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

Yo mama so fat she died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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