How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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An Irishman stays home

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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Icecream

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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28

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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why did the man die? he got shot

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Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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