What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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My sister has to take a dump

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I am black.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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The WNBA

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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whats round and like a ball a ball

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Haha pizza

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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