how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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hahaha

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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What do you call a black guy that sings? A singer.

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Dead babies.

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Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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a Mexican and a black guy were sitting in the back of a car, who is driving? -- a cop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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