What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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how does peploe get around they walk

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Penis

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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minorities

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops