Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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whats worst than reading youtube comments? Panic at the disco

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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A person with OCD walked into a abr.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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