Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

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womans rights

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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An Irishman stays home

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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Want to hear an anti-joke?

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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