How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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Why did the women cover up her vaginal area? She was with her friends, queefed, and was extremely self conscious.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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Rob Bell

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An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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You're so straight!

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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what did rebecca say to sabrina ? CALL wass !!

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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