- Anti Joke

Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

So one day There's a normal average day cheerio walking down the street, just walking along, when all-of-a-sudden he sees the most gorgous frosted cheerio in the world. This frosted cheerio has the most out smooth curves and just sparkles all the time and he immiediately falls in love with this frosted cheerio. So he walks up to the Frosted cheerio and says "Oh my goodness, you are the most beautifal frosted cheerio i have ever seen in my entire life, your just so stunning! Do you wanna marry me?" "Oh thats so sweet of you" said the Frosted Cheerio "but we could never be together because im a gorgous frosted cheerio and your just a normal cheerio". Determined, the Cheerio decides to clean up his act, goes and quits his job at the newsstand and applies for a job at applebees working his way up through the chain of command until a few months later when he finally is manage and becomes a Honey nut cheerio. He then goes to the Beautifal Frosted Cheerio and says "Look at me now! Im a Honey Nut cheerio and we can be together!" "Oh i do appreciate the effort" says the frosted cheerio "But im a frosted cheerio and your just a honey nut cheerio and i dont think it would work out". Even more determined, the honey nut cheerio decides to quit his job at the applebees and decides to go to college and after 8 years of intensive practice, the Honey nut cheerio finally has his Doctor's degree in Optomology and becomes a Frosted Cheerio. He then runs to the Frosted cheerio and says "Look! Im finally a frosted cheerio we can finally be together!" "Oh, Wow" says the beautifal frosted cheerio "Now we can be together!" The two frosted cheerios go on to have an incredibly happy marraige and are in the process of naming their first born child. The husband cheerio goes to the bookstore and buys a young cheerio name book, but after many hours of searching the book has no good names. So the husband goes all the way across the country to get an even bigger book of baby cheerio names and yet, they still cannot find a good name for the first born. Taking a break from finding the name of their first born child, the couple visits their local carnival and after going on many rides the wife becomes quite thirsty so she asks her husband " Honey, could you fetch me a glass of sprite? so the Husband goes to the Sprite line and he waits and waits but the line is just too long. "Im really sorry dear, but the sprite line was just too long" "Oh its fine honey you can just get me some Coke" Happy to get his wife some beverage the cheerio finds the coke line but yet again finds that the line is just too long. "Honey, Im really sorry but the coke line was just way too long" Dissapointed, but still thirst the wife says " Well i guess i could settle for some fruit punch" So the husband leaves but unfortunatly, There was no punch line.

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

There is a car full of black people.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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