Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

Penis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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