Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

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A guy walks into a store and buys a sandwich.

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why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

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What did my mom say when she walked in my room? You smell like body oder.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, the holocaust was a tragic event in human history.

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http://www.youtube.com/user/SWkangaroo

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Bill: Did you hear about the black guy that went to college? John: No. Bill: me neither...

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An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

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Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

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How do you keep an italian from talking? You duct tape his mouth.

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I'm Halarious.

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Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

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What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves the bar slightly intoxicated.

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Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

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how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

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What's the difference between a kleenex and a man? One absorbs your tears while the other makes you cry.

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What do people say? words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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