Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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Women

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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what did the black man do for his family? nothing

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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gay marriage.

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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