...Jack Vale

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

throbbing slobber

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

I am black.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Niko isnt a mexican douche

thumb_up thumb_down +43

69

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops