What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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nbjhfghl

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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Robin, get in the car.

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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Lacrosse

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Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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