What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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Knock knock! Yes?

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Benevolent villain.

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25

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

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What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

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abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops