A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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I dislike old people.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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The geese of Growmore

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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go go gadget

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Fruitcake

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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