The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

I dislike old people.

What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

The geese of Growmore

Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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