Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

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69

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Where else? The junk yard

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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why were there moans coming from the sandusky household Mike sandusky, was having sex with his beutiful wife, maria meanwhile Mike's cousin, jerry was sitting in a jail cell

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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