What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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69

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Real jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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