Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Penis

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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This post contains NOTHING.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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Punchline.

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Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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