Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +6

...and I'm a Mormon.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down

25

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your mama is so fat she wears big pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Where else? The junk yard

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why Did the throw up He was sick

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops