I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

Oliver's friends

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

Why did Bob the Builder die? I threw a fridge at him

A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

9/11/01 walks into a bar

Justin Littleton getting laid.

IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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