Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Black Poeple

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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