Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

Your life That's the joke

Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

What comes after "Q" R

Oliver's friends

A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

anus soup

Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

Obamacare!

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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