A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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What do you find....... there's a..........

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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haha.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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