Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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Women's rights

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops