Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I have read and agree to terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's 1+1? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

haha.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I like to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops