Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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throbbing slobber

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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