Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Goat balls.

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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Brett Farve

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amy copied adams haircut :0

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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