I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Herman Cain

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Women's rights

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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Oliver's friends

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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