husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

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Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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A black woman and an Asian woman are both driving their cars. They arrive safely at their respective destinations.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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What break when you talk?

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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