I would write a joke, but it wouldn't be funny

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So these two guys are in this barn f!@#$%^ this owl! no terms of service were available but i posted anyway cuz i just didnt want the best anti to be missed!

thumb_up thumb_down -148

why was 6 afraid of 7? cause 789! no, not anymore, didn't you hear? 6 and 9 got together last night and 8 eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down -238

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

thumb_up thumb_down +205

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" Not the best move Anne Frank ever made.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats better than winning a gold in the special olympics? Not being a retard

thumb_up thumb_down +35

say it aloud and fast: •im sofa king stew ped •ice bank mice elf •alpha Q •mike hunt •mike ock

thumb_up thumb_down +17

http://www.youtube.com/user/SWkangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why didnt the deer move out of the street when the guy yelled at it? Because deer are a very sensitive species you should try asking politely next time.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +143

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Because Jimmy was a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the 16 year old boy say to the obese girl who failed at typing? "sucks for you bitch-face."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Dinosaur!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops