Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, stones are gray, this poem is obvious, YOU DONT SAY??

thumb_up thumb_down +18

safety framed toilets like bbw (big black women)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What will happen when a black person die they die

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

thumb_up thumb_down +18

ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a horse walks into a barn

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the black man do for his family? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops