Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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Real jokes.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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9/11

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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Slavery

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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