I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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SPAMS!!!

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throbbing slobber

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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The WNBA

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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Niko isnt a mexican douche

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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