What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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amy copied adams haircut :0

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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A fish walks into a bar

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did you ever see a butter fly?

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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